Friday, May 14, 2010

Finding the answers within

I have become quite entranced with my new Osho Zen Meditation Tarot deck, as you might have gathered from my recent posts. I have long loved the traditional tarot as a form of meditation and insight, and when I needed a little guidance I often would pull out my Lovers' Deck and ask questions of it, reading various spreads or just meditating with a single card.

But this new deck?

It is uncanny.

It has not yet failed to provide me with the perfect response for my query.

This week I have been trying to find balance in my life, looking for the path that I need to take. I have been feeling, as I have written about here, a little lost and directionless lately.

So, again, I turned to my Osho deck last night, thinking of all the elements in my life right now, wondering what I need to be doing.

And the deck's response? GUIDANCE.

This was the card that I pulled. And the image on the card had a particularly strong impact on me. It was uncannily similar to the spirit drawing I had done for me by a medium at Lilydale, several years ago. I had gone there, in search of some guidance for the future.

Here is the accompanying commentary for that particular card:

"The angelic figure with rainbow-colored wing on this card represents the guide that each of us carries within. Like the second figure in the background, we may sometimes be a little reluctant to trust this guide when it comes to us, because we are so accustomed to taking our cues from the outside rather than from the inside. The truth of your own deepest being is trying to show you where to go right now, and when this card appears it means you can trust the inner guidance you are being given. It speaks in whispers, and sometimes we can hesitate, not knowing if we have understood rightly. But the indications are clear: in following the inner guide you will feel more whole, more integrated, as if you are moving outwards from the very center of your being. If you go with it, this beam of light will carry you exactly where you need to go."

These words were like a beacon to me, reminding me of that part of myself that I have been ignoring or neglecting for so long now.

I have been focused for some time on my WANTS, on the material self, on the things that surround us, rather than that which lies within. I realized last night, as I meditated with the Osho deck, that I need to concentrate on my NEEDS.

Of course, that means I need to figure out what they are.

And I mean beyond my physical needs. We all have the basic physical requirements: food, shelter, sleep, love.

Beyond that, however, we each have our own set of psychological, spiritual, and mental needs that make us into the complete beings that we are. And I think - no, I know - that I have been neglecting my whole self of late.

So, the appearance of the Guidance Card last night reminded me that I need to pay better attention to me.

I have always been a caregiver, and I frequently get so wrapped up in the needs and desires of others that I leave my own by the wayside.

Now is the time to remember ME.

And as I do that, as I begin to satisfy the inner needs of my soul, I will be much better able to continue my role as caregiver and empath for those around me.

So, here's to me.

1 comment:

Ann Marie said...

That is a great insight! We can't help others until we help ourselves first.