Monday, April 26, 2010
Today's Ohso Zen Tarot Card: Compromise
Ok, So I'm pretty well infatuated with my new Osho Zen Tarot meditation deck.
The images on them speak very powerfully to me, and I find myself pulled back to them again and again, just wanting to touch them and look at them.
Today I was feeling physically low, with some of my normal challenges, so I decided I would pull another card and do some meditation.
Today's card was COMPROMISE.
My first response to this card, when I drew it, was "huh? Compromise? Why should I give in and compromise my standards?"
THEN I read the accompanying text.
Here's what it said:
"In the courts of ancient Japan, the male attendants were often selected from the ranks of petty criminals who were castrated. Because of their intimate familiarity with the activities of the court, they were often at the center of the political and social intrigues and exercised a great deal of power behind the scenes. The two figures on this card remind us of the sleazy and conspiratorial situations we can get into when we compromise our own truth. It is one thing to meet another halfway, to understand a point of view different from our own and work towards a harmony of the opposing forces. It is quite another to 'cave in' and betray our own truth. If we look deeply into it, we usually find that we are trying to gain something - whether it is power or the approval of others. If you are tempted, beware: the rewards of this kind of compromise always leave a bitter taste in the mouth."
And then the meaning for this card became crystal clear.
I have spoken on this blog several times about my current challenges. I have struggled, in particular, with the decision that I have made to return to the institution that has denied me tenure for one final contract year next year. This was not a decision that I made lightly, and there were several points at which I made myself physically ill thinking about what that would entail.
But then I sat down with a candle, and meditated, and asked myself what my ultimate truth was.
And my truth lies now, as it always has, in my abilities to share my knowledge and skills with others. In other words, my truth is that I am a teacher.
So, this COMPROMISE card is reminding me that I must follow my heart, be true to myself, and not let others stand in the way of doing what I need to do.
Even as they engage in the sleazy and conspiratorial situations of which the deck speaks.
AS Ohso states, "Never repress anything, be clear-cut about your situation. And if you are confused, remember that you are confused. This will be the first clear-cut thing about you: that you are confused. You have started on the journey."
So, with the drawing of the Compromise card, I believe that I have begun my journey, down a path whose end I can not yet see clearly, but one that I know will be sure and true.
For I will not compromise myself, despite the actions of those around me.