Transformations through YogaDance

(the photo is of my husband and me at our wedding reception, dancing to the music of Abbey Road)

I have always loved to move to music, even if it just means tapping my feet or swaying. Yogadance, however, has opened up a new level of musical appreciation for me that comes from my core being. Being an "older dancer" means that my body does not always do what I think it should do, and it means having to figure out ways to make it move without hurting myself, but this is an exciting challenge that has made my body more flexible and nimble, even after only four sessions of Yogadance. The stiffness, aches and pains, and resistance that an older body experiences, however, do not limit the expressiveness with which I can now respond to the music.

I had no idea that beginning this class, which I did out of support for my friend Christine and as a way to get back into exercise, would have such a powerful, transformative effect on me.

Last Saturday, it brought me to tears.

The combination of Yoga, which focuses on the whole body, on breathing, on opening the chakras and focusing on the energies of the self, with the choreography and, yes, FUN of dance is amazing.

This is no mere "exercise" routine. It is a process of introspection and transformation that makes one open those deepest, darkest recesses of the self that rarely see the light of day and self-examine them. We dust them off, stretch them out, shake them off, and glory in their hidden beauty. And the most powerful part of all of this is that it is done as part of the community of dancers.

I found myself opening wide, letting in the power and energy of those magnificent women in the room with me, as well as letting go of the angst and emotions that had welled up inside of me.

As we moved and prayed with our bodies, I became one with myself again.

I found myself wanting more. More dance. More music. More chant. More of myself.

What an awesome journey that is!

My introduction to Yogadance has been a re-introduction to me. I have been transformed. And that transformation extends well beyond the hour we spend actually doing it.

Will you Yogadance with me, too? How will you rediscover and transform yourself today?

Plan your own tarot party with Christiana!

Host your own Tarot Reading Party With Christiana, Spirit Guide


Choose the theme – wine and cheese, cocktails and music, afternoon tea party, outdoor patio party – and all you have to do is provide the venue and refreshments. Invite your friends, and voila! A Tarot party!


Christiana can do between 7-10 readings in a single gathering. Cost is $35 per reading, and the host(s) will receive up to two free readings for hosting the event. A separate, private space is required for her to do each personal reading.


Each reading is personalized, and is usually 20-30 minutes in length.

Christiana uses a Tarot Deck called the Lover’s Path, which is a beautifully illustrated set of cards that help her divine the state, needs, and probable paths of her clients.


While Christiana is not a “fortune teller”, she is uniquely gifted to intuit the psychic state and needs of individuals. Her goal is to aid individuals in finding their own true paths to follow.


If you are interested in arranging a Tarot Party, please contact Christiana at Christiana.Spiritguide@yahoo.com.

You can also check out her blog at http://christianaspiritguide.blogspot.com/


Welcome spring and embrace renewal with a tarot reading and share it with your friends!

Re-discovery, Re-imagining, Re-invigorating...Re-designing the self

It seems that this is the spring for Epiphanies for me. I've written about a couple of them earlier here, about my "I could have had a V-8" moments. And lately, I've had another major rediscovery, this one about music.

I wrote, from Florida, about being reintroduced to the primacy of water for me, as a meditative and spiritual need. I also wrote about the need to keep teaching.

Lately, I re-discovered my inner musical self.

It all started with a commitment to do SOMETHING again, to get active, and try to get my body healthy again.

I had fallen out of my Y swimming routine, for a gazillion different reasons (ok, excuses). I would start, again, next week, tomorrow, next month, after this (fill in the blank) is done.... And it just didn't happen.

And then, my good friend Christine, over at the Blisschick blog, started offering Yogadance classes.

I had to support her. She was living her bliss, growing her dream. How awesome was that?

So, I committed to going to a Yogadance class. First, one on Saturday. Then, after that incredible experience, I committed to a series of Thursday morning sessions. And I was hooked.

But what, exactly, was it that hooked me, you ask?

Was it Christine's enthusiastic teaching methods?
Was it the skillful blending of yoga techniques and dance movements?
Was it my friendship with Christine?

Well, I admit, all of those played a part.

But the clincher for me was.... are you ready? .... the MUSIC.

Soemthing wonderful happened to me when the music came on.

My body came alive.

I could not keep it still.

It took on a life of its own, moving, and swaying, and expressing in ways that I thought it had forgotten long ago.

I should have known this. I should have remembered. I was, after all, a dual major in Music and History in college. I am (albeit a rusty one) a singer. I play piano.

But somehow, music had lost its centrality in my life. Swept aside by so many other mundane concerns.

Then my husband bought my my very own 160gig iPod for my birthday. (He has 3 of his own - he's a real music junkie!) And I was like a kid in a candy store, going through our voluminous library of CDs trying to decide which ones to download first.

And last night, another miraculous thing happened. We went to hear Michael Buble in concert in Cleveland. This was our second Buble concert, and it was awesome.

Most incredibly, however, again my body MOVED. I. could. not. sit. still.

And I let my gaze roam over the crowd, watching other reactions to the music, and I was amazed at how many people were just sitting calmly in their seats, listening, like stone statues all in a row.

Sitting still? To MUSIC?

Such a foreign concept to me.

Music flows like the blood through my veins. It makes me move and sing and tap my toes with wild abandon. It frees my soul almost as completely as immersion in water, that I wrote about earlier. Music transports me, and makes me fly.

And I knew, without a doubt, that I can not let another day go by without music. It would be like denying myself water or air.

And this epiphany is like finally emerging into the bright sunlight after a long, treacherous trek through the deep jungle growth. Unfamiliar at first, my body embraced the warmth of the sun and arms stretched to the sky to bring it closer to my heart.

I'm reaching now, for my iPod, to help this body live again.

What makes you live? What have you let yourself forget? What will you embrace again to invigorate your soul?

Consider the Pearl....

This is a photo of two "do it yourself" pearl kits I got while I was in Florida. Well, actually, I bought them at the Fort Myers airport gift shop, so that gives you some idea of just how kitschy they are. The kits included a preserved whole oyster, and a charm necklace, with the inserts that direct you to slice open the oyster and find your (guaranteed) pearl within. There are five possible colors of pearls, they tell you, each one signifying a different promise.

Of course, I couldn't resist. I bought not one, but two kits, hoping to find the signs of glory and richness (in life and spirit, not just in dollars) buried within.

So, I eagerly sliced open my oysters, hoping to find those lavender and pink pearls -the rarest ones, of course - only to find two very ordinary white pearls.

Not that the white pearls aren't special and wonderful. I have long admired the pearl above most other gemstones because of its meanings. And, of course, no two pearls are identical in size and shape. They, like snowflakes, are unique.

And last night I got to pondering my pearls, putting perspective and purpose to my thoughts.

Let us take a moment and consider the pearl.

What a truly remarkable creation, the pearl. It begins as a grain of sand, an irritant, that finds its way into the ducts of an oyster. The oyster, in order to protect itself from the chafing of the sand, begins to produce a protective layer that envelopes the sand and stops the irritation. Over time, this tiny grain of sand becomes engulfed in the material that is the pearl.

A thing of beauty, begun with a sharp irritation.

And that made me think about my own life. It made me think about the current obstacles that stand before me. It made me think about how I might, in my own way, turn my grains of sand into pearls.

For isn't what matters how we respond to what the world throws at us?

All of us face those tiny specks that chafe and scrape and irritate the crap out of us.

How wonderful to be like the pearl and, instead of ending up bruised, bleeding, and injured, turning that source of irritation into an asset, a thing of beauty to behold.

So, in deference to the wisdom of the pearl, I vow to start producing my own sparkle out of grit. And when I get the next (inevitable) email referencing how remarkable it is that I have managed to overcome this "difficult and stressful year", instead of letting it make me mad, I will turn it into a positive and marvel that I have, indeed, managed to keep my head held high when others believed I would curl up and wither.

The oyster would do no less. It produces something of tremendous value when irritated. Something truly unique and without equal.

So will I. Just watch me.

So, remember the pearl. Such a small wonder, we often overlook it's true magnificence.

You go, pearl.

Loving and Living

Tonight, my husband posted a status on his Facebook account that said something like this: "Today was a very long day, tomorrow and Wednesday will be even longer. Luckily, I have a wonderful wife who will help me make it to Friday."

God, he's sweet.

But he's more than that. He is my lifeline.

I've been blogging here about my recent obstacles, and how I have been trying to overcome them, and find my true bliss. I am not new to struggle. In fact, I have faced struggle after struggle my entire life.

I am a survivor. It's what I do.

And yet, until I met Dave, I always survived ALONE. I turned inward, adopted a self-protective stance, much like the hedgehog that curls up in a ball with quills exposed to the dangers that threaten it.

It worked, and I always managed to overcome, to supercede, to survive. But I never thrived. I never knew my bliss.

And then, almost by accident, I met this incredible, wonderful, miraculous man who changed my life.

And when I met Dave, I realized that I was not truly living my life before. I was only going through the motions.

Because, you see, living is nothing without loving. And loving means truly living.

When you can trust someone with your soul, it is an amazing thing.

And my soul mate, Dave has done that for me. We knew at the end of our first date that we were destined to be together. And we were married less than two years later.

The truly amazing thing now, though, is that I no longer roll up like a hedgehog when the predators come sniffing. Now I take hold of Dave's hand, and we face them together, side by side.

And it is truly mind boggling the difference that it has made. With Dave by my side, I can move forward, exploring my possible paths, without trepidation that I will fail. Dave has confidence in me. He believes in me. And I know, whatever happens, that Dave will be there by my side to help me face my foes. And he will be the first to uncork the champagne to celebrate when I conquer them.

With Dave, I fly.

My Dave, who has supported my psychic side, without question, from the day we met.

My Dave, who never scoffs when I tell him I see things, or know things, or have "feelings," and who thinks it's a normal conversation to ask "so, seen any spirits lately?"

My Dave, who told me not to worry when I first told him that I thought I would be denied tenure, because, he said, things will work out.

My Dave, who always can make me laugh, and who takes my breath away with passion and love.

So, tonight, as I reflect, I focus on the most wonderful, positive, amazing part of my life - the part that means I LIVE each and every day. And I give thanks that I finally found him on my life's journey.

And I wish for all of you that you can find and experience this love that helps you truly and fully live each day with joy.

I love you, Dave. You are my soul mate. With you, I live.

Balance and Finding Our New Limits

Today's post is about finding balance, stretching the self to find the new limits and trying to overcome the obstacles that stand in our way. Interestingly enough, as I sat down this morning to write this post, I opened my good friend Christine's blog, and she has written this morning about the concept of nueroplasticity and the ability to rewrite our brains.

Yesterday, I had a difficult day. It was not difficult for any earth-shattering reasons. It was a normal day, and I had plenty of mundane tasks to keep me occupied all day long.

Yet, something was wrong. Sometime just didn't feel right.

It took me most of the day to figure out that I was battling depression.

It was not the anxious, fear-riddled depression of my earlier days. This was unique in that it had a particularly overwhelming sense of calm that accompanied it.

That's why it took so long for me to identify it.

And I've been having a series of very vivid, highly symbolic, and somewhat negative (ok, some were outright nightmares) dreams this week that added to that sense of mental and physical unbalance yesterday.

So, when I finally had that "oh, duh!" moment yesterday afternoon and realized that depression had me in its grip, I'll admit, I was a bit angry. I thought I had left that depression behind in Florida, blown down the beach like a tumbleweed in the Old Wild West. I believed that my reinvigorated use of water had conquered it.

And yet, there it was. Clear as day. Marring my otherwise positive Friday.

So, what did I do? I got out my brand-spanking-new iPod (a birthday gift from my wonderful hubby before I went to Florida), and cranked up the tunes. I let music carry me away. And it helped.

And last night, I lost myself in the fantasy land of Alice, courtesy of Johnny Depp. (what an actor!)

Today, I am going to take my very first ever YogaDance class, and try to stretch my body as well as my mind. (I'm hoping to reach those cute little toes pictured above!)

Next week, I am starting my Y swim routine again, as I vowed I would while I was in Florida.

I will not let the depression win. I can conquer those synapses in my brain, and I know that I am more powerful than they are.

It's all about balance. If the depression starts taking me too far in the dark direction, I will simple respond by pulling us back to light. I will use music, and water, and air to remind myself of the positive energies that embody me.

I will triumph. Because it's what I do.

What will you do?

A Little Bit of Florida, on the Shores of Lake Erie

Well, after a long and stressful travel day, I returned to the land nestled on the shores of Lake Erie, to resume my normal life. I found my husband and four restless pets waiting anxiously for my return.

And I returned to my daily routine of going to the office.

But something is different. Actually, many things are different.

First of all, I'm not teaching this term, since I have been granted a research contract, releasing me of my teaching duties to focus on my academic research. (That's a topic for another blog, another day).

What that means, is that I am not driven by the clock this term. No need to cram tasks into the brief blocks of time between teaching.

No frantic scramble to get papers graded in time to return during class.

The luxury of being able to THINK about the tasks that lie before me, and to actually follow through with them as I do them.

It is a wonderful, though strangely disconcerting, feeling.

And yet, something else is different.

That something else is me.

My mind set.

As I wrote about on several posts here, I did a great deal of reflection while I was in Florida. I let my mind go. I let my elements, water and air, cleanse and rejuvenate me. And I reclaimed control over myself and my life.

So, as I returned to school this week, and took up this new slightly awkward routine, I realized that I am a new person.

And it all revolves around that integrity I spoke of in an earlier post.

I COULD be staying home, doing what I feel like, and not worry about the job. After all, they didn't grant me tenure, and don't want me around for the long haul, so why should I bust my chops to work for them?

But, you see, the work isn't for THEM. It never was.

It is now, and always has been, for - and about - me. About realizing my true self. About finding my bliss.

And today? What wonderful thing happened, but that a book rep knocked on my door to offer my desk copies of texts for my courses, and we wound up talking about my OWN book project, and making a connection that might - just might - end up in a book deal for me at the end of it.

See? Integrity.

If I had not been in the office today, if I had chosen to sleep late and read what I wanted to read, instead of going in and doing scholarly tasks, I might have missed this opportunity.

And I know this is the case, because this morning, I saw and heard seagulls outside of my window.

In Erie, Pennsylvania.

Now, we have gulls here, don't get me wrong. They are often on the lake and at the shoreline.

But we live inland, about 47 blocks from the lake, on a hill. We don't usually get gulls up here.

Today we did.

And I know why.

The gulls were there to reinforce the lessons I had been learning in Florida. Like the dolphin who appeared for me in Florida, the seagulls' connection to the water is symbolic for those with this totem. Water represents the emotional side of a persons psyche.

The seagull is a messenger. If it dives into your life (as it did into mine this morning) this can indicate deep seated emotions that need to be healed. If seen bobbing on the surface its asking you to let go of worry, go with the flow and enjoy yourself more.

More importantly, seagulls hold the teachings of fairness and respect and show those with this medicine how to create relationships based on these two principles.

Relaxed and easygoing in all of their pursuits, seagulls bring us the gift of a carefree attitude. They are casual about how they build their nests and where they live.

Those with this totem should try to remember that the complementary side of a carefree nature is the proper acceptance of responsibility. When you commit to something and others are depending on you its not appropriate to just fly off if the mood strikes you. It is good to temper a carefree attitude with a responsible nature and to know when each behavior is appropriate.

So, the gulls, like the dolphins, were showing me that I must hold onto my integrity and self-respect, and carry out my responsibilities for my own sense of balance. Then, and only then, will I have met and lived my true bliss.

So, I remain watchful for those totem signs that tell me I am on the right (or wrong) path, and I listen to their messages.

What are the totems telling you today? Are you following your bliss?

The Mighty Dolphin

"What sweet mystery about this sea, whose gentle stirrings seem to speak of some hidden soul beneath." Ishmael, in Herman Melville's Moby Dick.

The other day, as we sat on the deck at the Lodge, enjoying our leisurely three-hour lunch, a tremendous thing happened.

The dolphin appeared.

Three of them. A trinity of dolphins.

Just for me.

The locals said that they hadn't seen the dolphin around for weeks. That is, until I showed up.

And I believe it was a message for me.

You see, the Dolphin is one of my totems, but it is one that I have ignored for a while now, in favor of the frog. My husband's totem is a turtle, and the frog is just a natural balance to the turtle. So I forgot all about my beautiful dolphin.

Until this week.

This week, when I have been reintroduced to the power of the water and its important role in my life.

So I thought I would share some of the dolphin symbolism and its auspicious meaning for me at this moment in my life.

Water, my dominant element, is a sign of cleansing, freedom, and mobility. That makes perfect sense to me, as I feel reborn when I spend reflective time in the water.

Water is also a universal expression of the unconscious. This, too, makes sense, as I have an intuitive skill in revealing that which lies beneath the surface.

And so it is also logical that my totem would be a water animal. Both the frog and the dolphin are the ultimate sign for me, as they both are known for being in two worlds at once, both of the water and the air.

They bridge the elements, each in their own way.

The dolphin reminds us to live with the same unbridled freedom of the water animals who frolic and play with gleeful abandon. Have you ever watched them following in the wake of a boat? They jump and twirl and race and exude pure joy.

The dolphin also represents transcendence, harmony, intelligence, resurrection, and noble power. I belive that this trinity of beings was sent to remind me to tread with assurance and grace, in this time of transition, and that as long as I follow the path that lies before me, I will overcome the adversities that try to subdue me.

I will transcend, and I will be reborn.

The dolphin are also closely associated with kingly qualities, but not of the dominating kind. They are gracious in their reign, and this grace is their core theme. This is actually very close to the topic I was addressing yesterday in my post, when I stated that I must continue to do my best, and not stop fulfilling my duties, because it is what I owe myself.

This is the ultimate grace.

We do what we do, simply because is it the right thing. We do not look for vengeance, or deceit. We simply must be the best we can be and the rest will sort itself out.

The dolphin are also the epitome of duality, representing both the lunar and solar symbolisms.

As a sun symbol, they signify life, vibrancy, activity, health, renewal, and intelligence. Again, as a powerful symbol for me at this moment, I was struck by their importance in terms of my own personal renewal and revived power.

As a moon symbol, the dolphin symbolizes hidden power, intuition, dreams, conception, and the feminine aspects. I believe this is affirmation of my new venture to provide spiritual guidance through the tarot and dream interpretation. I took this as a very positive omen for my future.

The dolphin then, is perhaps the greatest conveyer of the concept of balance, of the yin and the yang, bringing two halves together.

These powerful totems appeared, in the most powerful number - 3 - to reassure me that I am on the right path, and that as long as I remain balanced and focus on my own personal sense of power and intuition, I will walk the walk of grace and bliss.

What are your totems? Are you listening to the lessons they are teaching you?

Doing the Right Thing....for Yourself.

This morning's post is about perspective and integrity.

As you know if you've been following my blog, this has been a rough year for me. At several points this year, I've been told and have felt, that I should just "go through the motions" and not give my all in this position, since they don't seem to appreciate my efforts.

And, I admit, at times, I gave in to this sentiment momentarily.

But then, something significant happened. My INTEGRITY reared its head and thunked me across the forehead.

This happened again yesterday.

I have always had a hard time leaving work behind, and this trip is no different. After a wonderfully relaxing day, I came back to the condo and immediately opened my school email.

DUMB.

Because what I found there royally ticked me off, and made me want to just say "screw it all."

There was an email exchange with my chair over next year. In his tenure letter, this very same chair had criticized me for "continually insisting on teaching overload courses, against the advice of her chair." And this email exchange yesterday? Ultimately asked me to teach not one, but TWO overload courses next year. WHAT?

Of course, my friends said "SAY NO! You don't owe them ANYTHING!"

But the money is good.

And, more importantly, if I don't teach them, no one else will. And the students, for whom I have been working all along, will suffer.

Oh, and one of those overloads is for the Adult College. The email request from the coordinator of that program wrote in her email to my chair, "We were wondering if she would offer another course this year, since she is held in high regard by the adult students."

That, in itself, was enough to confirm that I need to teach the overload.

That was affirmation that I was doing the right thing.

Besides, I can not bring myself to hurt the program just to be petty.

I refuse to lower myself to their levels.

I had another email exchange yesterday that also reinforced this idea.

I had a student who simply "checked out" during Winter term. He had been told that he could not graduate, and he simply gave up. So he failed the course.

Then, during finals week, he was given new information. He was told that, so long as he did not flunk any courses, he could graduate.

It was too late. I had already posted grades.

So he sent me not one, but TWO, pleading emails, asking for another chance to pass the class.

And I replied to him yesterday, with a response that he did not want to hear.

I told him that sometimes life teaches us difficult lessons. I said that we should always fulfill our obligations, even when it seems futile, because we never know what might lie beyond the next bend in our life's road.

And this, ultimately, is why I will not give up, or just give the students an "easy pass" when I return to teaching in the Fall. I will continue to give my all and fulfill my obligations, not because I owe the institution anything, but because I owe it to myself.

My integrity will allow me to do no less than my best.

Period.

And the rewards will be far greater than being granted (or denied) tenure. They will be self-respect, integrity, and honor.

And I can walk away from this institution at the end of next year with my head held high, knowing that I have done my best, done good work, and left a lasting mark among the student population.

So, where are you going to leave your mark? Are you waiting for that external, material reward for your actions? Is your perspective clear? Follow your integrity, and you will find the must fulfilling path to your bliss.

Another epiphany of sorts....

This morning, I grabbed my towel and headed down to the hot tub and pool for my morning ritual of a soak and swim, to help my aching back. And as I sunk deeply into the roiling waters of the spa, I had one of those "I could have had a V-8" moments - you know, where you thunk your forehead because you made a stupid mistake.

Because this morning, as I settled into the water, with no other soul in sight, closed my eyes and let myself be surrounded by the motion of the jets, it came to me.

Water is my element.

I need water every day, in some elemental and powerful way, in order to experience my bliss.

My good friend Christine writes about this at her Blisschick blog, and she just posted an incredibly powerful piece on how dance helps her feel this elemental revival of self in her own life.

For me, I need the water.

And silly me, I thought I was getting it.

You see, we bought a hot tub last year. Every week, we are in the hot tub at least 3 times a week. We soak and talk and relax. And it feels wonderful. Especially when the snow is gently falling on us.

But this morning, I realized that this is not enough.

For today, I spent 10 minutes in the spa and then skipped over the pool to do several lazy laps in the cool water. And this is where my energies are restored.

I have belonged to the Y for years now, having joined with a friend with whom I went swimming regularly. The friendship has since fallen away, and I continued the swimming routine for a long time, but this past year, in the midst of all my turmoil, I found more and more excuses not to make it to the Y for my swims.

It was too cold outside.

I was too busy.

I was too tired.

It was dark outside.

I'll start next week, after this (fill in the blank) is over.

And on and on the list of excuses went.

And as the year progressed, my stress levels rose to alarming levels. My physical and mental health deteriorated. And I was losing grip on my sense of balance and being.

Until this morning.

Swimming, for me, is not about the physical exercise (although it is a wonderful way to get the body moving, with aerobic exercise that is less jarring on the joints). Rather, what I rediscovered this morning is that the process of swimming cleanses my mind. It is as if all the stress and distress of my life is rinsed away by the water flowing over my body.

This makes sense, since I am a Pisces. I belong in the water. I have always known this. I have just not always embraced it.

When I enter the water, and close my eyes, I can make the world go away.

I focus on my breathing.

I feel the texture of the water as it caresses my limbs and supports my body as I move through it.

I become one with the water.

It opens my senses and electrifies me.

I rediscover myself.

Swimming makes me fly.

So today, I am making a promise to myself. I will no longer ignore the needs of my body. I will continue to embrace my need for water. I will immerse myself in the water as often as I can. I will return to the Y.

And I know, if I do this, I will continue to fly.

The Sheller's Lesson

Greetings from Marco Island, Florida!

Since I am writing this post from the lovely island, I thought it might be appropriate to use a beach metaphor in today's reflective writing.

Since my first trip to Florida in 1984, I have been an avid sheller. ( A "sheller" is a seeker of seashells, also sometimes called "beachcombers", looking for those treasures from the sea.)

You know the type - I'm sure you've seen us if you've ever been on a good shelling beach. We walk slowly, back bent, scanning the beach carefully with our eyes, looking for telltale signs of a fertile shell bed.

We carry plastic baggies and perhaps a small shovel or brush, and we giggle with glee over every single find. It's like being a child at Christmas once again, when every small package makes us squeal with delight.

As I walked the beach late this afternoon, after two days of wild weather on the island, I found that it was a sheller's wonderland. Shells of all types and size littered the sand, including many still hosting creatures (dead and alive) in their interiors.

So today, my first day of my time here at one of my favorite spots in the world, I was presented with a beautiful gift, seemingly just for me.

Today, the weather was brisk and windy, and as I stepped out onto the beach, I began to feel the wind blowing my stress away. The combination of water and wind, my own personal primary and secondary elements, swept over me and soothed my aching and weary body, regenerating my soul.

As I started down the beach, I found myself naturally falling into my shelling behavior, even though it has been five years since my last visit here. (Note to self: five years is way too long between visits...) This unconscious behavior was so natural and instinctive, that I almost didn't recognize that I was doing it.

And as I scanned the sand, marveling at the wide array of shells, I was struck by the lesson that we can take from this simple act of shelling. For you see, a sheller must exhibit patience, dedication, caution, and respect in the process of finding the treasures of the sea.

Each individual sheller has his or her own agenda. Some collect only the large, perfect shells, like the familiar Conch shells that lay scattered along the beach this afternoon, still housing their animals.

Others look for the greatest variety of shells they can find, looking for one of everything, to create a library of sorts of their own shells.

Personally, I have my own favorites. I pondered this as I walked today. I have a fondness for the "turret" or "worm" shells - the tubular, scrolled, and delicate small shells that are much more difficult to find.

I tend not to like the bivalve shells, though the beach is literally covered in bivavles of all shapes, colors, and sizes. I decided today that the reason I shy away from these bivalves is that you rarely find a complete (yet empty) bivalve. Somehow, I find that sad.

So, there I was today, within five minutes of gaining the beach, and I looked down (in my natural shelling pose), and what lay at my feet but a gorgeous turret shell, nestled deep in a pile of broken bivalves. It seemed to be a beacon to me, a message that I was on the right path.

So, this is the message of the sheller. It is not a task to be rushed, but one that must be approached with diligence, care, and patience. The bent back walk of the sheller is not easy, and the result can be pain and discomfort, but the result, when we take the pains to do it correctly, can be extremely rewarding.

Life is like this, too.

Sometimes we get so busy digging through the bivalves of life (all those annoying details of life that distract us from our real path or purpose) that we don't see the beautiful turret shell lying just at our feet. If we don't step carefully, we will crush it, or miss it completely.

Sometimes, too, we can be looking so intently at a problem that we can't see the solution right in front of us.

I passed a large bed of shells today, scanning it intently, looking for my favorite shells, and was distracted by a gull who laughed at me (it was a laughing gull...). I looked away to respond to him, and when my eyes returned to the spot I had just searched, I found the best shell of the day, right in front of me.

So, for you, my friends, I am sharing this lesson. Treat life like a beach full of shells. Keep searching for those treasures that lay hidden, waiting to be exposed.

Yet if we rush, or if we are distracted, we might miss that most precious find.

Patience is the key.

Be prepared. Keep your tools handy. And be ever observant for those telltale signs that will guide you naturally to your finds.

Oh, and remember to let your elements help cleanse you, as mine have cleansed me today.

Working it all through

If you have been following my blog posts, you know that I am in a transitional phase of my life. This week has been especially hard for me as I am coming to terms with the finality of the closing of one door, and the opening of a new one. As of yet, that new path is not fully illuminated, giving me moment to feel anxiety, fear, and depression.

Today, as I spent hours working on tasks for that path that has been closed down, I felt a growing resentment and anger building inside of me. It led, later this afternoon, to a tremendous wave of depression.

I yelled at the dog.

I got mad at my (wonderful) husband for just being himself.

I wanted to yell and kick and scream at life for making me hurt and feel and grow.

And it took me quite a while to realize that I was letting life win.

"Physician, heal thyself," quickly jumped into my head. How can I expect people to come to me for guidance if I can't even get my figurative stuff together?

So now, with the house quiet, the dog and husband asleep and the cats hiding doing cat things, I am healing myself.

I found a quotation upon which to meditate. I lit a candle. And I opened my blog.

Here's the quotation I found tonight. (I have hundreds, collected over many years. In college, my nickname was The Floor Philosopher!)

"Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise." --Samuel Lover.

This quotation reminded me of the great power of karma. My anger today stemmed from the resentment of doing things for an institution that has decided that I am not worthy of remaining there. And yet, I am doing good work. Important work. Work that will make changes and create a footprint for the future.

And I realized, after I lit the candle and focused on what I DID today, instead of what I FELT, that today, I was letting the circumstances rule me. Instead, I should be using them as instruments to secure my new path.

For you see, today I was working on organizing a conference. I was sorting through paper proposals and arranging paper titles and feeling a tremendous exhilaration because my work had shown great results.

Due to my efforts, and mine alone, we had a tremendous response to our call for papers. Because of my diligence and dedication, we will have 100 visitors to our campus in April, to share in the dissemination of historical knowledge. This conference should serve to engage the students and hopefully encourage some of them to pursue graduate degrees in the field. It is their time to shine.

And I was the one who made it possible. Little old me. The one who isn't good enough for the institution that will be hosting this miraculous event.

Oh, and did I mention that I have recently applied for a job at another institution doing precisely this very thing? The title is Director of Continuing Education, but it is essentially organizing, planning, and overseeing conferences and other non-credit educational experiences. In other words, teaching beyond the classroom. What a dream job for me.

As my friend, Christine writes, finding our bliss does not mean that we are happy all the time. Rather, it means that we acknowledge that we are on the right path, and we don't let the negatives drag us down.

Next week, I will be spending a week on Marco Island, in Florida, with my parents. I plan to spend the time reflecting, writing, and studying for my new path. Oh, and expect a few blogs from down there, as well!

And whatever happens, I know, between the bouts of anxiety and depression that sometimes catch me off guard, that my new path lies before me, just waiting for me to take those first steps.

As I said before on this blog, we all know the answers. They lie inside of each of us. It's just that at times we need some help finding the right questions to ask.

So, I'm finding mine. Slowly but surely.

What are yours?

The Major Arcana: Strength

The VIII card in the Lover's Path deck is the Strength card, the same as in the Ryder-Waite version. What a powerful card this is! In this deck, the strength card is represented by the legend of Brunnhilde and Siegfried, of the Norse and Germanic traditions.

This story illustrates how love can strengthen us to do deeds far beyond our normal capacities.

Brunhilde, the Valkyrie, was the favorite child of Wotan, ruler of the gods and goddesses. An immortal warrior woman, she was content to follow her father's will by bringing the bodies of fallen warriors to Valhalla - the hall of warriors, built by Wotan at a huge cost. Wotan had purchased Valhalla with a golden ring, which gave the power of all the world to any who possessed it. If this ring were to fall into the wrong hands, it could bring about the end of the world.

Wotan was determined to win back this ring, and regain its power. He enlisted the help of a human strong enough to retrieve it. This hero was Siegmund.

But Fate had a twist in mind for Wotan: Siegfried fell in love with another man's wife, and the other gods ordained that he must be killed by the offended man as punishment for his adultery.

Against his will, Wotan was forced to agree with the decision of the gods. To do otherwise would cast shame upon his lover, Fricka, goddess of marriage whose vows Siegmund dishonored with his illicit love.

Brunnhilde was sent as messenger to deliver the death sentence to Siegmund. But Siegmund refused to go willingly with the valkyrie to Valhalla, since the woman he loved, Fricka, now carried his child.

As he begged for his life, Siegmund touched Brunnhilde's heart. For the first time, she understood the power of love, which made her strong enough to disobey her father's will. Instead, she agreed to help Siegmund win his battle. Wotan struck Siegmund dead, for the gods' commands must not be ignored.

Brunnhilde, too, must be punished for her defiance of her father's wishes. For this transgression, Wotan made Brunnhilde mortal in flesh and heart.

As a woman, Brunnhilde had all the vulnerabilities of one. Her father ordained that she marry the first man who found her defenseless in the forest. Brunnhilde had an inspiration, however, and she begged her father not to let her be any ordinary man's bride. Instead, she countered, Siegmund's child could only be a hero like his father. She asked to be placed on an enchanted rock, in a deep slumber, surrounded by a ring of fire. Only a hero such as Siegmund's son would be brave enough to face the ring of fire to claim her as his bride. Together, they would be strong enough to reclaim the ring of power for Wotan.

Wotan agreed to this wise request. When Siegmund's child was born, he was given the name Siegfried, and he grew to be as fearless as Brunnhilde had foretold.

The years passed, and he learned of the woman surrounded by flames that no man could claim for his own. Without fear, Siegfried walked untouched through the ring of fire. As he woke Brunnhilde with a kiss, he knew love for the very first time.

Though their story would have many twists and turns, the duo would prove strong enough to retrieve the ring of power, thus saving the world.

Here on this card, the lovers are depicted as they are triumphantly united at last. The flames surrounding Brunnhilde have been extinguished, like an enchantment broken by love's first kiss. The lovers face the world, confident in the knowledge that they are strong enough to face anything. Nothing will stop them from completing their great quest.

When the Strength card appears in a reading, it usually symbolizes the transformation of weakness into strength. It represents the love which strengthens us, and the strength to do great deeds. It may also signify integrity or unrelenting courage.

In the reversed or weakly aspected position, the Strength card signifies feeling insecure or fearful and the scattering of energies. It can represent wanting others to be strong for you. It can also mean creating discord in order to weaken others.

The great lesson of the Strength card is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Each of these lovers, in their own way, overcame adversity and weakness, and by joining forces they were able to transform these limitations into limitless possibilities.

When we look into the faces of Brunnhilde and Siegfried, we should see the glimmerings of our own faces. We need to grab the brass ring and stop the ride.

The Major Arcana: Desire

The next card in the Major Arcana is the Desire Card (VII), or the Chariot in the traditional Ryder-Waite deck. To represent the ideals of the Desire card, we see the duo of Tristan and Isolde. The story of this couple has its origins in French and Celtic tradition. This tale demonstrates how desire drags everything along its unyielding path, creating unstoppable movement where there was once stagnation.

Tristan was a man who was familiar with loss. His name, Tristan, means sad one. His mother had died in childbirth, and his father would soon follow her. Without roots, Tristan pledged his loyalty to King Mark of Cornwall, who took Tristan under his wing as his own son.

Tristan and Mark were inseparable. Mark confided in Tristan that he desired a wife worthy of him. One day, a dove flew into Mark's window, carrying a golden strand of hair. The king took this to be a sign, and asked Tristan to find the woman from whose head it came. Only she could be his bride.

Tristan traveled far and wide, in search of this elusive beauty. Finally, he discovered the hair's owner: Isolde, the daughter of the king of Ireland, King Mark's fiercest enemy. Tristan was determined to do Mark's bidding, however, enemy or not.

Tristan began to woo the dear Isolde, in stead for his King. Convinced that the Prince wanted her for himself, Isolde was moved by the young Tristan. Her desire turned to Fury when Tristan revealed that, in fact, he was acting as proxy for the King. Without the marriage, the threat of war loomed between Ireland and Cornwall. Against her will, Isolde agreed to wed a man that she had never met and whom she did not love.

Isolde wept as she departed from her homeland. As she embraced her parents for the last time, Isolde received a gift from her mother. This package contained a magical potion that her mother promised would bring Isolde joy until death upon her wedding night.

Isolde interpreted her mother's words to mean that she had given her daughter the means with which to kill herself, thus sparing her the shame of an unwanted marriage. Isolde was determined to carry this out, but that she would not die alone. Instead, she would die with Tristan, the young Prince who had won her heart, but who had betrayed her trust.

Isolde mixed the potion with wine in a silver cup. She invited Tristan to visit her. Offering her hand in friendship, Isolde drank deeply from the cup, and then handed it to Tristan. Tristan finished the wine. AS the poison made its way through their veins, love spread like a vine stronger than thorns and far more wild, binding the two tightly to one another.

For Tristan and Isolde had drunk not death, but love that would last onto death.

Isolde's mother had given her not a poison, but a powerful love potion that could not be overcome by any earthly powers.

Nothing could undo what the potion had put into motion. As the ship sped towards Cornwall, Tristan and Isolde gave themselves up to desire's irresistible pull.

Here, on this card, Tristan and Isolde are depicted after drinking the love potion. The ocean surrounding them is as wild as the unruly emotions unleashed by the potion. The fierceness of their desire is a crushing one, as seen in the bold embrace that engages them. IT is as if they could never be separated. It is a force too great to resist, pulling them together like a powerful steed.

The Desire card suggests forces beyond control, powers to which we have no choice but to submit. The emotional landscape is far too wild and powerful to tame. We can only trust that they are in out best interest, since they are fated.

When the Desire card emerges in a reading, it represents being pulled by desire, or movement into the next phase of life. It can signify feeling the forces of fate. If the card emerges, and the querent is feeling impatient, never fear, the transitions will go smoothly, as if they are meant to be. This card symbolizes the external forces that work with you.

If the Desire card appears in a reversed or weakly aspected position, it symbolizes impatience or the necessity of waiting. It means that the querent is trapped by desires which feel unquenchable. It can also signify inconvenient timing or a disregard or insensitivity to the portents around one. It means that the querent is feeling unable to make a transition.

Desire, then, reminds us of the powers that supercede us. There are those strong, natural forces that are capable of shifting the winds, and filling our sails to take us in new and uncharted directions. These forces are too powerful to resist, so we must learn to submit to them, and accept their direction full-heartedly, and embrace them.

The Major Arcana: Love

Returning to our discussion of the Lover's Path Tarot Deck, we are on the VI card, or Love, in the Lover's Path. This card is known as the Lovers in the Ryder-Waite deck. Again, I believe that the more general Love title better reflects the true meaning of the card than the image of Lovers. For the Love card represent far more than just the fiery, romantic love of the lovers.

The Lover's Path deck uses the myth of Isis and Osiris to represent this card. Their story illustrates the power of love and its ability to transform us irrevocably. For over 3000 years, Isis was worshipped in Egyptian society as the mother goddess of the universe. She had two brothers, Osiris and Set, who were responsible for the fertile soil and the barren desert, respectively.

When the two had come of age, the sun god, Ra, married Osiris and Isis. Their love was blissful. No moon or star could outshine their passion. Since their union was happy, they wielded their power with generosity and justice. Their days were spent nourishing the world; Isis' power combined with Osiris's, producing abundant good from the rich Egyptian soil and the fertile Nile. As a result, they were adored and revered by many, and were granted greater honors than their brother, Set.

This angered Set, and aroused his jealousy. He vowed to avenge this dishonor, as his love for Osiris quickly was transformed into hatred. To be freed from this overpowering hatred, Set trapped Osiris in a coffin and threw him into the swirling waters of the Nile.

Overcome by grief, Isis transformed herself into a bird and flew everywhere in search of her lost love. She finally found his coffin embedded inside a tree, which had subsumed it over time. Isis hid the coffin, afraid that Set would discover it.

But Set learned all. Out of revenge, Set stole Osiris from Isis, and cut his brother's body into fourteen pieces, which he scattered all across Egypt.

Isis was undeterred. Fueled by her love for Osiris, she traveled up and down the Nile in a papyrus boat, searching for the lost fragments of her husband's body. It took years before she was able to collect them all. When she finally had completed her task, she reconstructed Osiris's body, sealing it with wax and gold. Then, using the power of her love, Isis resurrected Osiris for a final embrace.

That act of love resulted in the conception of a child, the falcon-headed god Horus, who would grow and thrive, a potent reminder of how love can create life even when faced with overwhelming adversity.

The image on the card depicts Isis and Osiris wrapped in their final embrace, the one that would result in their son, Horace. Life swirls around the stillness of their kiss, and several birds fly by, depicting the movement of fate, against which love can protect us, as well as Isis's search for her lost husband. The hieroglyphs painted on the wall behind them come from an ancient Egyptian love poem.

This card symbolizes love in its purest form: love which empowers us for good; love which brings joy to the heart. It also signifies the pleasure that sensual love brings to our lives, encouraging us to find healthy ways to increase and enjoy its presence.

While this card may suggest the appearance of an important love relationship for the querent, primarily and more significantly, it represents the unity of the masculine and feminine energies within ourselves. This happy state of harmony enables us to transform the world around us as if we were gods or goddesses.

When the Love card emerges in a reading, it represents love which inspires us to great deeds and harmony. It may symbolize an awareness of the nature of passionate love, and what is necessary to encourage it. It can also signify Sensuality, or an integration of the masculine and feminine energies, known as the anima and animus. It may also suggest the appearance of a new and important relationship, peace within oneself, or a love which transforms the world around one as well as oneself.

When the Love card appears in a reversed or weakly aspected position, however, it signifies that the querent is feeling unworthy of love. It might also represent manipulation of others through sexuality, or an inability to find a loving partner. It can also symbolize immaturity and irresponsibility in love relationships, game playing, or dishonesty.

The symbolism embodied in the story of Isis and Osiris is one of the overarching power of love. Despite the machinations of their god brother, Set, nothing would prove to be more powerful than the love shared by Isis and Osiris, and the ultimate culmination of their love would be found in their son, Horace. When this card appears, let it remind us of the limitless power of love to transform and transcend, taking us to ends beyond our conscious thought.


Love, after all, conquers all.

Why the Tarot?

First of all, I want to say thank you for all of the responses and support for my last blog post about my epiphany. It has been amazing to see how many people believe in me. It means the world to me.

One of the comments on the last post, though, raised an issue that I thought I should address, early on in my blogging days here. Amy, a fellow blogger, commented: "How cool for you! I used to be interested in Tarot, way back in high school. I no longer have my deck, and personally, even though I no longer believe in the supernatural (of course I admit I could be wrong ;-) ), I think the cards themselves are lovely and interesting, and I certainly think they can be a tool for insight. I think it's great that you have a gift for helping others gain insight into their lives, and great that you are pursuing it! Best wishes to you in your new endeavour!"

Her comment made me stop and think about how people perceive the tarot, and how I use it in my own processes. I thought that some clarification might be in order.

I am not a fortune teller.

The cards do not predict the future.

The cards are not a supernatural gateway to another dimension.

However, that also depends on how one defines "supernatural." I suppose there are those that might label God as a "supernatural being," since he is above the natural forces at work in the world.

Personally, I see the tarot as a means of examination, insight, and self-discovery that can help us better focus our energies and discover the path or paths that lie before us. They can aid us in divining our true selves, based upon the energies that lie within us.

That's why each querent should touch the cards personally.

They thus infuse the cards with his or her own energies, the ones that will reveal themselves in the spread of the deck. This infused energy helps as, together, we interpret the cards that appear. They serve as a guide, not as a predetermined course of events.

As with any form of meditation, there are no easy answers, just waiting to be discovered. Any path takes time, energy, and devotion to find and to follow. I simply hope to play a role in that discovery process. And as I told one of my clients the other night, we do know the answers - they lie within us - we just don't always know what questions we should be asking.

My goal, then, is to serve as the mediator, helping the individual ask the appropriate questions, and understand the possible paths.

Each of us has particular skills that we may share with the world. Some can produce glorious works of art. Others have the ability to compose breathtaking music, or to distill mathematical equations to their purest forms. Still others have mechanical abilities and can create or repair things.

My skill is the ability to see into individuals, by reading their energies. To divine their true nature. To see what lurks beneath the surface.

It is this skill that I employ when I read the tarot. In essence, I am reading the individual, using the cards as a guide. Together, they show me the appropriate questions to ask, so that we may reveal the answers that already lie within.

I hope that you will join me in this meditative process, and that I may have the pleasure of helping each of you find your own questions.

An Epiphany

Pardon the interruption in the explanation of the Lover's Path Tarot Deck, but I felt the need to blog about my day yesterday.

I had an epiphany of sorts.

The day did not have an auspicious start. In fact, it was downright awful. After teaching at the college level for over 15 years, doing what I have always loved to do, and what I am incredibly GOOD at doing, I was told that I was not good enough to stay at the institution that had eaten my time, energy, and yes, my soul, for the past six years.

Although I knew this moment was coming, and in fact had known since October that the inevitable outcome would be that I would leave this institution, the final letter, in black and white, pierced me like the spear in Christ's side.

And the timing of this event was also quite unfortunate. It came on the last day of final exams of our term, when I am swallowed in a pile of research papers that must be graded before final grades can be posted on Monday. I am under a heavy, pressing deadline.

And now, with this knowledge, they expect me to focus and get grading done by Monday? It seemed, yesterday, to be utterly impossible.

Oh, and did I mention that this is also the weekend that my husband, Dave, who has been supportive and by my side without fail since the day we met, had to be in Harrisburg yesterday and today? So, here was my big bombshell, my Armaggeddon, and I was forced to face it alone.

I admit, I spent about 30 minutes in tears, with my office door shut, after I read the letter. I felt defeated.

I thought, "this is it. I will never be a teacher again. This is my huge exit from academia, and my exodus from teaching." It was not a move I had ever contemplated. All of my life, I knew I was going to teach. From the age of four, when I began teaching my dolls on the front porch, I saw my life's work plotted out before me. I never considered anything else.

So, you might ask, in all of this wallowing, sorry, and self-pity, where's the epiphany?

Well, here's the amazing thing: I was reminded last night that our true purpose ALWAYS emerges, no matter how hard we try to suppress it.

As I have discussed here on this blog, I have been reading tarot, privately for myself and friends, for a number of years now. I was never confident enough in my abilities to take it seriously, although I had been told time and time again that my readings are always "spot on" and that I am "amazingly insightful" in my advice. Yet, I doubted myself.

I was scared.

Scared to find out if I could really do it.

Scared that people might not approve of my work.

Scared that it might affect the rest of my work (ie: my work at the college).

But as this tenure process has unfolded, I began to think about what comes next. What do I DO, if I am no longer teaching college level history, as I have done or thought about for over 20 years? That was such an intimidating question, with no immediate, logical answer.

Until my friends shook me up (figuratively) and said, "DUH! You need to do tarot readings and dream interpretation! For MONEY!"

So, several months ago, I began preparing to launch into this new venture, spending more time with the cards. I have begun studying runes, another ancient divination system. I have done more investigation into dream symbolism. I have cultivated my knowledge and skills.

All in preparation for my big premiere.

And the unveiling was last night. Last night, in the wake of that horrible finalization of my career in higher education. And my hubby was gone. I was alone to face my Goliath. I was nervous. I was afraid. I almost decided I couldn't do it. But that would not have been fair to my two good friends who had organized the event and have supported me from the very get-go.

So, onward I went. Determined to at least put forth my best effort, and hope that I didn't shatter my nose when I fell flat on my face.

I did seven readings last night, in the space of about 3 and a half hours. It was exhilarating, exhausting, and challenging. It made me feel alive. It made me fly. And I realized, as I sat at the table with these individuals who had come to me seeking guidance, direction, and answers, that I was still teaching. That I was making a difference. That I have a special gift that I can share with others that might help them find their true paths in life. And I was transformed.

One of the women for whom I read, a friend of the hosts, told me that I was "amazing," and she was visibly moved by the reading. She walked out of the room, to rejoin the rest of the crowd, and she jokingly remarked "Well, you two obviously called her and told her exactly what to tell me!"

I saw things for all of my querents that were blatantly obvious to me, things that they had tried to hide from the world and themselves. I urged them to face these challenges and tap into their own power. I gave them "homework." I was still teaching. It was beyond amazing.

So, this day that began with the closing of one door, ended quite clearly with the opening of a new one. Last night, I found my bliss.

Ironically enough, it was at the house of the woman who writes the BlissChick blog. How cool is that? Who knew, that to find my bliss all I had to do was go visit the BlissChick?

Though I had refused to recognize it, my path in higher education had me beaten down, defeated, and confined, long before I received the negative tenure review. Had I been truly listening to myself, perhaps I might have taken this new road several years ago. What is important, though, is that now I am listening. I am embracing this self, this purpose, this path. And I am excited to see where it takes me.

Oh, and I know that, wherever I go, Dave will be ever faithfully by my side.

Find your passion. Find what makes you fly. The tops of clouds are an awesome sight.

The Major Arcana: TRADITION

The next card of the Major Arcana, the V card, is the Tradition card in the Lover's Path, or the Hierophant in the Ryder-Waite deck. What duo could better represent the ideals of this card than the fated lovers of Romeo and Juliet? They are regarded as the quintessential example of star-crossed lovers, trapped by their families' traditional hatred of one another. This story has become the basis for variation after variation in the retelling in film, opera, and literature, as their ill-fated love is played out.

The story of Romeo and Juliet unfolds in Renaissance Verona, where the feud of the Montagues and Capulets disrupted an otherwise peaceful city. The tradition of hatred was so entrenched than even a chance encounter on the street between members of the two households would end in bloodshed. Juliet, the teenaged daughter of Lord Capulet, wanted no part of the feud, but when she fell in love with young Romeo Montague, the families' traditional rivalries sprung into action.

Romeo and Juliet first met when he snuck into the Capulets' costume ball. Juliet, who was also masked, struck him with her beauty and grace. By the time he learned of her identity, it was too late: he had already been captivated by the young Capulet. He later appeared beneath her window to woo her with honeyed words. The two swore their devotion to each other and swore to be wed as soon as possible, despite the feud that separated their households.

It would be Friar Lawrence who would help Romeo and Juliet in their romantic quest. Initially dubious of their emotions, the Friar decided that their union could help heal the rift that had plagued the two families.

Sworn to secrecy, Friar Lawrence married the young lovers.

Peace was not to follow, however, for Romeo and his new bride. Later that same day, Romeo was attacked on the street by a Capulet and, while defending himself, struck his rival dead. Romeo then turned again to Friar Lawrence to act as an intermediary with Juliet.

Meanwhile, Lord Capulet had his own plans for the young Juliet. She was to wed another. She could not tell the truth, that she was already married to the family's foe, so she turned to Friar Lawrence as well.

The Friar provided Juliet with a potion that would render her lifeless for two days. That would allow him time to notify Romeo of the events and help the young lovers escape and be united.

Fate once more conspired against the pair, however.

Romeo received word of Juliet's death before he was informed of the truth by the Friar. Rushing to her side, devastated by her "death," the young Romeo poisoned himself in order to join his love in death. Juliet, awakening from her slumber in her dead husband's arms, did not hesitate to use his dagger to join him in eternity.

Such a tragic tale of love and despair seems to have no immediate connection to the tradition card. And yet, the love of Romeo and Juliet did result in the end of the feuding between the Montagues and the Capulets, giving way to a new tradition, not of hatred, but of tolerance and understanding.

Here, on this card, the young lovers are depicted as they pledge their love to each other in the rites of marriage, performed by Friar Lawrence. Two cherubs frame them, offering the choice of love or duty. Beyond them rests the city of Verona, within whose walls they fell in love.

When the tradition card emerges in a reading, it symbolizes following established social structures, or traditions which are constraining. In love relationships, the tradition card signifies the desire for marriage or some other formal, traditional structure for the sake of secruity. It can also represent an awareness of public image and the desire to control it. Perhaps the querent wants to conform in order to gain approval. It can also signify possible rigidity or reluctance to bend.

In the reversed or weakly aspected position, this card represents the need to throw out the old constraining social structures, in favor of new forms. It can also signify the fear of unconventional ideas or ways of approach. The querent may be facing nonconformity. It can also symbolize the questioning of tradition for tradition's sake.

The ill-fated story of Romeo and Juliet, as represented on the Tradition card, then, can teach us a vital lesson that we should not unquestioningly hold on to tradition for tradition's sake. Neither, however, should we toss the baby out with the bath water. There is always a balance that must be struck between the old and the new, and with the restructuring of the old ways, we open the doors to new paths and new lives, just as the deaths of Romeo and Juliet led to the new tradition of tolerance and understanding. Their deaths, though tragic, were not entirely in vain.

When I see this card in a reading, I immediately think of the musical "Fiddler on the Roof," and the classic song, "Tradition." We should never let ourselves become so ingrained in tradition that we forget to think about why we do the things that we do. It is the WHY that is the important aspect of our actions, whether in love, life, or death.

The Major Arcana: POWER

We've already been introduced to the story of Merlin and Vivianne when we discussed the Magic card in an earlier post. The next card in the Major Arcana, the IV card, is the Power Card, seen as the Emperor in the Ryder-Waite deck. The lovers here are Arthur and Guinevere, whose complex legend appears in many forms throughout Europe.

Roots of the Arthurian tales also are found in Celtic mythology, where the regents sometimes wear the immortal colors of the god and goddess. The archtype of Arthur as once and future king of Britain is the supreme example of the enlightened use of power, and the modern imagination is still captivated by the tales of Camelot and the knights of the Round Table.

However, Arthur had humble beginnings. Though born of a Queen, Igraine, wife of King Uther Pendragon, he was taken by the magician Merlin upon his father's death to be raised in anonymity. Merlin was protecting the young Arthur from the lords who battled for Uther's throne.

As the fighting continued, the land fell into ruin. When Merlin foretold of a king who would come to unite them all one day, the lords scoffed in disbelief and denied the magic sign he prophesied: He claimed that only the one who could pull a magic sword from an anvil would rule England by right.

Years passed, and Arthur grew to manhood under Merlin's watch. He remained unaware of his auspicious fate. Soon, he encountered the sword in the stone. In need of a sword, Arthur easily withdrew it, thus sealing his fate as England's ruler. Though his rule was initially challenged, in time his authority was sealed unquestioningly.

The reign of Arthur ushered in a golden age for England. He united warring factions under his brave and responsible leadership. He gathered only the best knights around him, including the noble Lancelot du Lac, considered to be the best knight alive, and they served as the famed Knights of the Round Table. Arthur also decided to marry and start a family.

From the moment he first saw her, Arthur was besotted with Guinevere, daughter of King Leodegrace of the North. Merlin advised him that another woman, not Guinevere, would bring him greater happiness, but Arthur's heart was set on Guinevere. He trusted Lancelot to make Arthur's plea for Guinevere's hand to her father, Leodegrace.

Yet, when Lancelot laid eyes upon the graceful Guinevere, all thought flew from him mind. The pair was consumed by a power greater than their loyalty to Arthur. The pair were forced to contain their emotions as the marriage took place, joining Arthur and his bride.

Arthur's power, then, bought him a bride, but not her love. Guinevere respected Arthur, but it was Lancelot who had stolen her heart. Try as she might, the tragic triangle of Arthur, Lancelot, and Guinevere was entrenched for the rest of their lives, leading to bitter unhappiness for all of them.

Yet, even today, the magical stories of King Arthur and the knights of the Round Table live on, with stories of the beauty of his reign and his bride, despite the sad queen who sat beside him, but could not love him.

On this card, Arthur and Guinevere are depicted on their throne, surrounded by the glory that was Camelot. Lancelot, always in the queen's thoughts, is visible on the tapestry that hangs behind the throne. The round table, shown behind the arches of the throne, and around which no knight could sit higher or lower in status, reveals the ultimate goal of power, which is to create peace and harmony in the kingdom.

When the Power card emerges in a reading, it represents the ability to use power wisely or the awareness of one's own power. It may also signify meeting an authority figure or teacher who can help develop that power. Sometimes, it represents responsibility towards others or the ability to lead and inspire. At times, it suggest knowledge of how to create change without giving up important values or resorting to violence or deception.

When the power card appears in a reversed or weakly aspected position, however, it symbolized that the querent may be oppressed by another's power and authority, representing insecurity and loss of personal power. It may also symbolize passive aggression or using power to manipulate others for personal gain. In other words, it represents blocked or malaligned power.

The story of Arthur and Guinevere reflects the possibilities and dangers of power. Arthur, through his responsible authority, was able to wield tremendous control over his kingdom, bowing all to his will. His power, however, could not bring him true happiness, since it could not give him the one thing he most desired: the love of Guinevere. Once again, we are reminded, as we were earlier with the Magic card, that true love conquers all.

We must, then, strive to temper our power with love, and blend the two in a conscious effort to become more benevolent in our actions.

The Major Arcana: Fertility

The III card in the Lover's Path Major Arcana is the Fertility Card, represented by the pair Cleopatra and Caesar. Ryder-Waite uses The Empress to represent this card, and it represents fecundity, abundance, and growth. This amazing duo is the perfect pair to articulate these themes.

Cleopatra reigned as Queen of the Nile, empress of Egypt, for over two decades. During that time, she became known across the lands as a seductress with a highly musical voice and unusual intelligence. Made queen at the tender age of seventeen, Cleopatra was quickly forced into exile by those who resented her power.

To regain her rightful throne, Cleopatra turned to Caesar, by smuggling herself to him rolled up in an oriental rug. As the rug unfurled and the young queen was revealed, Caesar could do nought but fall in love with her, and he would help her successfully return to power.

Cleopatra would bear a child to Caesar, a young boy they named Caesarion, or "Little Caesar." The queen returned to Egypt, leaving Caesar to fight the Roman fight. He could not forget the beautiful enchantress, however, and invited her to return to Rome.

For almost two years, the duo lived together in his magnificent palace, a life of golden happiness. Caesar was so besotted with her that he erected a statue of her in a temple of Venus. Though he was already married to another woman, many believed that he would find a way to wed his queen, thus making their son heir to their combined kingdoms.

Together, the lovers were simply too strong, their empire too vast. They were doomed to fall. Caesar became dictator of the Roman Empire, and his enemies accused him of plotting to make himself King. Threatened by Caesar's amassed power and Cleopatra's ambition, several Roman senators conspired to kill Caesar on the infamous Ides of March in 44 BCE. Heartbroken, but always pragmatic, Cleopatra took their soon and fled Rome to save their lives.

Upon her return to Egypt, Cleopatra consolidated her power, using all that she had learned from Caesar. She would also easily seduce Mark Antony, one of three rulers who would divide the spoils of Casear's Roman empire after his death. Mark Anthony helped Cleopatra extend her reign, conquering Crete and Cyrenaica, making her Queen of Kings. This prompted the Roman Senate to declare war on Egypt.

This time, affection was not enough to protect the queen and her empire. Even with his military aid, the Egyptian forces were easily overcome in a battle at sea. Realizing that defeat was at hand, the lovers Cleopatra and Mark Anthony took their own lives.

With the end of Cleopatra's reign, the golden age of the pharaohs came to a close. She was the last monarch of Egypt, despite her determination, Egypt would become a province of Rome with her death.

On this card, Cleopatra and Caesar are depicted in the fecund glory of their ruling years. Pregnant with Caesar's son, she is draped in jewels, representing the richness of their union, and frought with the optimism that their unborn child will take their empires even further. Caesar wears the crown of laurels of the victor, and they are surrounded by the symbols of their expanding empires. Of chief symbolic importance are the multiple cats that roam at their feet. Cats, great and small, symbolize the fertile powers of Bastet, the regal Egyptian cat goddess.

The story of Cleopatra and Caesar, then, represent the host of possibilities that lay before them at their zenith. Hope, optimism, fertility - all are symbolized in the images of the Fertility card depicted here.

When the Fertility cards appears in a reading, it symbolizes power, ruling over one's life, expanding horizons, or experiences of fertility and abudance. When this card is selected, it may symbolize a new marriage or special relationship which supports one's growth. It may also signify practical action which manifests itself as a physical product - children, artistic endeavors, or wealth. It can also specifically symbolize pregnancy.

In its reversed or weakly aspected position, the fertility card signfies deprivation or sterility. The querent might be feeling the lack of material resources or limitations that are overwhelming. It symbolizes the need for more abundance in life.

I remember doing a reading for a friend, and the Fertility card popped up. She was appalled and said "Why, I CAN'T be pregnant!" I smiled, and patiently explained to her that perhaps she was "pregnant", but that the "child" might be something other than a human baby. As we feel the magic of the Lover's Path Tarot, we must remember that each card had a wide range of meanings, and that they must be interpreted in the context of our own lives. The completion of a manuscript or artistic work is as much the process of giving birth as the physical act of giving life to a baby.

Let us all be fertile in our lives, and produce many great works to share with the world.